One Man One Night

I have been thinking that it is time for me to try for one of my dreams. I been thinking about writing my one man show. It has been a life long dream to do my own one man show. Will I've been doing a one man show for a while, you know what I mean... but now I can charge people to watch. Hello....
I have been thinking that I would at less try. If we don't try we never know just what we could have done. I know that it will have a bit of funny and maybe a bit of sad, and alot oh no you didn't, and a pinch of say what.... I feel that know is a good time for it. I will let you all know how it is going.
You never know what you read today may be on life time tommrow.

I WISHED I HAD BIGGER BALLS

I WAS THINKING BACK TO A TIME THAT I HAD TO CUT THE GRASS. AND AS ALWAYS I WAS NOT DOING IT RIGHT SO MY MOM CAME OUT TO SHOW ME THAT RIGHT WAY. OK SHE DIDN'T COME OUT TO SHOW ME. IT WAS MORE OR LESS HER YELLING AT ME, AND KICKING ME. NOT THAT IS WAS OUTSIDE THE NORM.

NOW KEEP IN MIND THAT THE GRASS WAS WAY OVER GROWN AND I LOVE TO PLAY BASEBALL. AND AT THIS TIME I HAD LOST ALL THE BALLS THAT I WOULD THROW AT THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE. AND YES... THAT WOULD BE WERE I WAS CUTTING THE GRASS. ALL THE WHILE MOM WAS WALKING UP THE DRIVE WAY AS I WAS CUTTING THE GRASS. OUT OF KNOW WHERE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HER BITCHING. A BASEBALL FLEW OUT AND HIT HER RIGHT IN THE LEG. WITH THE SOUND OF THE MOT ER I COULD NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE FROM HER YELLING AT ME FROM THE YELLING OF PAIN. JUST AS I LOOKED OVER AT HER ANOTHER BALL FLEW OUT AND GOT HER ON THE LOWER LEG. AFTER THAT I HELPED HER INSIDE AND WENT BACK OUT TO CUT THE GRASS THAT WAS NOT YET CUT.

NOW YOUR THINKING HOW CAN THIS BE GOOD. OUT OF THIS TWO GOOD THING HAPPENED EVERY TIME FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS WHEN SHE WOULD YELL AT ME . I GOT TO SEE MY WORK ON HER LEG AND I FOUND MY BALLS.

YOU SEE SOMETIMES IT'S NICE TO GET YOUR BALLS BACK. THE ONLY THING I WOULD HAVE CHANGED IS TO HAVE BIGGER BALLS.

TRUE THAT

SORRY THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ON THE BLOG FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. LIFE THE KIDS AND MY HUSBAND. I AM ALWAYS ON THE GO. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. WHEN I SAY LIFE I MEAN WORK AND WHEN I SAY THE KIDS I MEAN THE DOGS AND WHEN I SAY HUSBAND I MEAN YOUR HUSBAND... LOL..

TRUE THAT... TRUE THAT...

I WLL HAVE MORE BLOG FOR YOU ALL TONITE.

IF WE WERE MADE TO FLY WE WOULD HAVE WINGS

I WAS THINKING BACK TO THE DAYS OF WHEN I WAS A KID AND HAD GONE TO THE TWO RING CIRCUS. I KNOW THAT MOST CIRCUSES ARE THREE RING, BUT BEING FROM TEXAS AND GOING TO THE MEXICAN CIRCUS WE ONLY GOT TWO RINGS BUT I WAS HAPPY TO BE THERE. I HAD GONE WITH ONE OF MY SISTERS, MOM AND DAD. IT WAS A GREAT TIME. WE HAD SAW THE BROTHER AND SISTER TEAM OF THE FLYING TRAIPSE.

ALL THE WAY HOME MY SISTER AND I TALKED ABOUT HOW WE COULD DO THE SAME THING. AND WE WERE SURE THAT WE COULD DO IT JUST AS GOOD. SO SURE, THAT WE HAD PLANED TO START THE TRAINING RIGHT AWAY. AS SOON AS WE GOT HOME WE RAN TO OUR ROOM TO GET STARTED.

WE THOUGHT THAT WE WOULD START OFF WITH SOME EASY THINGS. MY SISTER SAID THAT IF SHE WOULD SIT ON MY FEET AND I WOULD PUSH HER INTO THE AIR, AND SHE WOULD LAND ON THE DRESSER. IT SOUNDED EASY. SO I GOT ON BED WITH MY FEET IN THE AIR, AND MY SISTER GOT ON MY FEET. NOW UP TO THIS POINT THE PLAN WAS GOING VERY WELL. NOW THE DISTANCE FROM THE BED TO THE DRESSER WAS ABOUT SIX FEET. AND MY SISTER WAS ALL OF 80 POUNDS. ONCE WE GOT OUR BALANCE MY SISTER SAID GO AND I PUSHED HER INTO THE AIR WITH ALL MY MIGHT.

THE TAKE OFF WAS GREAT, AND SHE GOT GOOD LIFT. IT LOOK AS IF SHE WAS GOING TO LAND RIGHT ON THE DRESSER AS PLANED. NOW I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS THE FORCE THAT I PUSHED WITH, OR THE FACT THAT WE WERE JUST TO CLOSE. BUT SHE HIT THE WALL OVER THE DRESSER. THEN CRASHED ONTO THE DRESSER WITH ONE LEG ON EACH SIDE OF IT.

EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE, BUT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL WAS MY MOM AND DADS ROOM. WHEN I HEARD MY MOM SAY WHAT IN THE @*%$. I KNEW IT WAS TO LATE. EVERYTHING HAPPEN SO FAST THAT I NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO EVEN GET MY LEGS DOWN, AND MY SISTER WAS STILL STUNNED FROM HITTING THE WALL. ONCE THE DOOR OPENED MOM DIDN'T EVEN ASK WHAT WE WERE DOING. MOM JUST GRABBED MY SISTER TOSSED HER OVER TO THE BED, AND WALKED AWAY.

THAT WAS THE NIGHT THAT ONE MORE OF OUR DREAMS TO SAY THE LEAST HIT THE WALL. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER LITTLE BODY HANGING OFF THE DRESSER. LATER ON THAT NIGHT I ASKED IF SHE WANTED TO TRY AGAIN. BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO . I GUESS YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.

I DO HAVE TO SAY I AM HAPPY THAT WE GAVE IT A SHOT. MAN WAS THAT FUNNY.

SEASONS

THIS WEEK I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT MY FAMILY. AND WONDERING WHY I LOVE THEM. GOD KNOWS THERE ARE MANY REASONS WHY I SHOULDN'T. I THINK THAT THE MAIN REASON I TRY TO WORK THINGS OUT WITH THEM, IS WHAT IF I NEED A KIDNEY. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. LOL...

WHAT I HAVE FOUND OUT ABOUT FAMILY IS THAT GOOD OR BAD THERE MINE. THAT THERE IS A PART OF THEM IN ME AND ME IN THEM. AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT. BEING SO FAR AWAY. BEING FAR AWAY IT HELPS ME IN THE HARD TIMES TO THINK OF ALL THE FUNNY THINGS AND THE HARD TIMES THAT WE HAD TO PULL TOGETHER TO MAKE IT. IN THE TIMES THAT I THOUGHT I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GO ONE MORE DAY. IT IS FAMILY THAT PULLS YOU OUT OF IT, AND IN MOST CASES THEIR THE ONES THAT PUT YOU RIGHT BACK IN IT.

WHEN I AM DOWN ONE OF MY FAVORITE MEMORIES IS WHEN WE WERE AT THE BEACH. ONE OF MY SISTERS, HER GIRL FRIEND, MY BROTHER-IN-LAW AND MYSELF WERE PLAYING AROUND IN THE WATER. MY BROTHER-IN-LAW WAS SPLASHING MY DIKE --- I MEAN SISTER. SO SHE GOT LOW IN THE WATER AND TRIED TO DO A SURPRISE ATTACK. BUT THE SURPRISE WAS THAT WITH THE FORCE THAT SHE CAME UP WITH PULLED DOWN THE TOP OF HER SWIMSUIT. AND SHE DID NOT KNOW... THE ONLY THING ON HER MIND WAS GETTING MY BROTHER-IN-LAW BACK FOR SPLASHING HER. ALL THE WHILE HER BOOBS WERE FLOATING ON THE WATER. AND THE MORE SHE SPLASHED. THE MORE THEY MOVED ACROSS THE WATER LIKE TWO BABY OTTERS. SPINNING AND DIPPING, AND COMING BACK UP. WHEN SHE STOPPED AND SAW THE OTTERS WERE OUT DOING THERE OWN THING. IT WAS TO LATE . I WILL NEVER FORGET HOW MAD SHE GOT BUT THE WHOLE THING IS THAT IT WAS FUNNY.

YOU SEE YOUR FAMILY IS A LOT LIKE THE WEATHER, THERE ARE TIMES THAT IT RAINS FOR WEEKS ON END. THEN JUST AS FAST AS IT THE RAIN STARTED THE SUN COMES OUT, AND A NEW SEASON STARTS. FAMILY CAN BE AS COLD AS THE SNOW AND THE COLDEST DAY OF THE WINTER. AND YOU WONDER HOW LONG CAN THE WINTER LAST. LIKE FALL WHEN YOUR LIFE SEEMS TO BE COMING APART AROUND YOU. FAMILY IS THERE TO PICK UP THE LEAVES , AND THEN JUST LIKE THAT IT'S SUMMER AND YOUR AT THE BEACH WATCHING THE OTTERS PLAY.

THROUGH THE SEASON OF LIFE AND FAMILY ITS WHEN YOUR ALONE THAT YOU NEED AND MISS THEM THE MOST. AND THE TIME THAT YOUR WITH THEM YOU WISH YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE BUT THERE. LIKE THE WEATHER FAMILY IS PART OF YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE. SO REMEMBER WHEN IT IS RAINING MAKE ROOM UNDER YOUR UMBRELLA. FOR ONE MORE. THEIR A PART OF YOU. GIVE THEM THE COVER THEY NEED. AND REMEMBER WHO THEY ARE..... YOU......

THE TRUTH ABOUT GROWING PAINS

I JUST READ THE NEW INSERT ABOUT TWO OF MY FAV-O-RITE PEOPLE KIE AND BRE. AND THE GROWING PAINS THAT THEY ARE IN AT THIS TIME IN THERE LIVES. IT GOT ME TO THING ABOUT MY OWN GROWING PAINS AND COMMAS AS A CHILD.

FLASHING STAR..... AND THE STORY STARTS....

I CAN ONLY TELL YOU PART OF THE STORY BECAUSE THAT IS ALL I CAN REMEMBER. NOT DO TO ALL THE DRUGS AS SOME OF YOU MIGHT THINK. MORE LIKE ALL THE BLUNT TRAUMA TO MY HEAD. I HAD GOT A PAIR OF POPEYE BINOCULARS. AND AT THIS TIME I WAS ABOUT 7 AND ONE OF MY MANY SISTERS WAS JUST A FEW YEARS OLDER THEN ME. I WAS NOT INTO LETTING OTHER PEOPLE PLAY WITH MY THING. WHEN SHE ASKED ME TO LET HER SEE THE BINOCULARS I HAD PUT THEM OUT TO HER AND PULLED THEM BACK QUICKLY. NOT LETTING HER GET TO LOOK INTO THEM. SHE WAS NOT ABOUT TO LET ME GET AWAY WITH THAT. SO WHEN I TURN TO GET A LOOK AT WHAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE HER SAD FACE... MUCH TO MY SURPRISE SHE PULLED A CORRINE... YES THAT'S RIGHT SHE WENT CRAZY ON MY ASS. SHE PUSHED THE POPEYE BINOCULARS RIGHT INTO MY FACE. VERY HARD. AT THAT MOMENT I HAD JUST GOT TWO BLACK EYES. AND I WAS A VERY WHITE KIDS SO THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT WE COULD NOT HIDE.

KNOWING THAT WE WOULD HAVE TOGO INSIDE AT SOMETIME. MY SISTER PUSHED ME DOWN AND HIT ME A FEW MORE TIMES SAYING THAT IF I TOLD SHE WOULD HIT ME SOME MORE. ONCE INSIDE MY MOM ASKED ME WHAT HAD HAPPEN TO MY FACE. THE ONLY WORD THAT WOULD COME OUT OF MY MOUTH WAS MY SISTERS NAME. IT WAS LIKE I HAD NO CONTROL OF MY TONGUE. MOM BECAME RUBBER I DON'T REMEMBER MOM EVEN MOVING. MY SISTER DID NOT STAND A CHANCE. YOU SEE AT THIS TIME PIG TALES WERE ALL THE RAGE. NOT ONLY WERE PIG TAILS COOL , THEY MADE GREAT HANDLES. HANDLES YOU SAY... YES... MOM GOT A HOLD OF THAT PIG TAIL, AND BEGAN TO SPIN. MY SISTER GOT LIFT. ONCE IN THE AIR MOM LET GO, AND MY SISTER WENT RIGHT IN TO THE WALL. THANK GOD FOR THAT WALL. NO TELLING HOW FAR SHE MIGHT HAVE GONE. MY SISTER LOOKED LIKE A RAG DOLL HITTING THAT WALL.

AT THE TIME IS WAS NOT SO FUNNY BUT NOW LOOKING BACK ON IT. WHEN SHE HIT THE WALL IT WAS FUNNY.

NOW THAT'S A GROWING PAIN...